Ode to Mr. H.B.

For those of you that know me personally (besides as marthawannab) you know that Mr. H.B. officially retired this weeks from the Air Force.  After 20 years as a military man, I seriously don't know how he will be a civilian.  You know how these military men are....they have a pattern to say the least.  He is boasting of being a free man.....no more short hair cuts (yea right....he freaks out when his hair touches his ears) and being able to grow a goatee, much to Nonna's chagrin.  I guess those things remain to be seen. 

So, as Mr. H.B. turns the page in his life from one chapter to another, I have been reflecting on how he actually earned his nickname of Mr. H.B. and how he is really not a horse's butt at all.  He sure takes a lot of hits from me in that regard and doesn't seem to mind at all that I put all our business out there for the whole world to see.  Therefore, I have compiled a list of the reasons that I love him and of how his nickname is a misnomer....

1.  Depsite the fact that he was less than tickled when I approached him about having kids 14 years ago, he has become the most perfect dad.  While his diaper changing skills left a lot to be desired and he still says "Great Idea" to me when the kids are being hellions, he loves the little buggers and takes superb care of them.  Drama Queen's clothes may not match when he is responsible for getting her ready for school but at least she has clothes on. 

2.  I complain a lot about the way he does laundry but make no mistake about it, clean laundry is clean laundry.  It may be pink when it is supposed to be white and my brown cashmere sweater can now be put on Drama Queen's dolls but it is clean all the same.  It's not put up most of the time but it is clean.  And he is the black sock fairy...he puts my black socks together for work and that rates pretty high on my fabulous meter.

3. He tells me how pretty and skinny I am constantly.  Nuff said.

4.  He loves his family.  The keepers of the farm and Lil Mama are his heart and there is nothing wrong with a boy loving his family.  I have no doubt that when Lil Mama's baby gets here, he will love her to pieces and I am sure that she will love him too.

5.  We haven't had to call a plumber or repair man for the entire span of our marraige (that I can remember).  He is Mr. Fix-it in addition to being Mr. H.B.  And he doesn't just make do either, he does it right!  We have had many conversations about him doing to too right, if that makes any sense to ya'll.  He saves me lots of money in the fixing it arena and I am all about saving a dollar....also rates high up there on my fabulous meter.

6.  Everyone loves him.  Really they do.  I have been trying to can whatever it is that he has so I can make money off of it but he won't let me in on how he does it.  Darn him.....

7.  I tell him all the time that I am going to slit his throat and bury him in pieces in the backyard and he never takes is personally.  In fact, he laughs.  My disclaimer is that I AM KIDDING people!  I love him to death. 

8.  He puts up with me......I flit around from one project to the other and don't finish some of them.  I leave my mess all around half the time.  I am NOT organized.  I talk a lot.  Death marches are fun for me and he goes with me, even though they are not his cup of tea.  I recognize my faults and understand that he loves me in spite of them. 

9.  He has had the courage to stay in the military for so long.  Make no mistake about it....leaving your family for months at a time to do a job in 120 degree heat when people are trying to kill you takes a strain on a fellow.  He always managed to keep his head held high and return home to us.  Wherever he went, he always made sure we knew he was thinking about us.

10.  He loves me.  We have never had a fight in which one of us left and I don't recall many occassions where one of us slept on the couch because we were angry.  We bicker and he makes me mad as all get out, but at the end of the day he is my horse's butt and I certainly couldn't ever love a horse's butt more.

I am busting at the seams proud of the job that he has done over the past 20 years.  The military is losing a good man this week.  I can't wait to see what the next 20 years will bring.

It's summer! Yay!

At my house, summer means that I have to constantly ferry the kids to and from the great Gulf Coast, which may not be so great anymore with all this oil mess, but I will save that for another blog.  As for now, I am riddled with the day to day drone of work and worrying about when the kids are coming to and from Nonna's house.  What I am trying to say is that "THEY LOVE IT THERE!".  Now, this is a good thing for them and for Nonna (if they are being sweet little angels instead of horrid deamons) but I miss them.  Yes, I miss the day to day bicker that accompanies such simple ordinary tasks as who takes a bath/shower first.  (This ordinary task has accumulated so much tormoil that we now have a "bath chart" inside our kitchen cabinet that says who takes a bath first on what day......UGH!).  Even though I miss the little terrorists, I mean angels, I have to agree that life on Nonna's farm is quite interesting.......

The kids have only been gone for like a week and a half.....not much time on the "mom needs a looooong break scale" and already the stories from the farm abound.  For instance, I am in receipt of pictures of both my angels holding sweet, freshly hatched, baby chicks.  The birth of said baby chicks caused quite a ruckus before they arrived since the older hens wanted to sit on the nest and the younger ones did too or some such........(it sounded so much better coming from Nonna).  Never the less, we now have little baby chicks and the kids are in heaven.  Drama Queen is in heaven in particular since anything baby to her is a reason to love.  Which brings me to my next point......

Since Lil Mama is so fond of having people touch her belly (NOT!!!), I decided that it would be just precious if Drama Queen made a point of touching Lil Mama's belly quite often.  Since Drama Queen is attached to all things baby, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to give her a one-on-one connection to what is soon to be her cousin.  This plan however, backfired since Drama Queen went running for the hills at the thought of touching Lil Mama's belly.  WTH?????  She LOVES babies!  In fact, she worships them.  Her only response to my questions about why she wouldn't touch the baby is that she thought it was gross.  "Gross????  A baby????," I asked her.  She replied that she would hold the baby when "she is delivered" (like the stork is gonna bring her or something).  Having said all of that, I will let you know that I did finally get her to touch the belly of Lil Mama and I am not sure how she feels about it except that she thinks it is weird.  Game Head opted out of this little family nonsense and instead opted for a session on Runescape........ go figure.  After the "touch the belly" madness that played out (on facebook no less,) Lil Mama's status let us all know that she was chasing a chicken around Nonna's yard.  I guess one never does really escape the madness of Nonna's farm.  Truth be told, we wouldn't have it any other way. 

Now, I am off to a hike in the smokies since I am on vacation.  I am so excited I can't stand it!!!  I will have you all know that I am not leading this hike so there is very little chance of getting lost.  (I never say never).  In conjunction with the hike I have been waiting for all my life, Mr. H.B. and I are taking the opportunity to enjoy a little time together while the kids are at Nonna's so we rented a cabin.  I plan to do nothing for the next 6 days except sit in the hot tub and get wrinkled toes (except for the hiking of course).  Wish me luck on the hike.  If we get lost, I am totally opting out of the reponsibility of this one!!  If I don't come back, just assume that Martha Stewart finally found out that I was a threat and she pushed me off of the Alum Cave Bluff overlook.  At least I will be doing what I love ........;)