Watch Out Martha.....you have stiff competition!

All this business about Martha Stewart has inflamed my ongoing passion to oust Martha Stewart from her faux antique, freshly crackle painted stool! Not that I dislike her.....on the contrary; I seriously want to BE her. I have spent the better part of my life yearning to make my cakes look better than hers, my floors cleaner than hers, and my herbs greener than hers. I mean, I have more personality, I cook like real people eat, and my scrapbooks can give her a run for her money any day of the week. Sadly enough, I have not quite reached the level of stardom that Martha has (I know you are shocked to hear that) but I am making an effort everyday. Today, I even folded my fitted sheets....how much more Martha-like can I be??? That jealous tirade actually brings me to my more serious point....why does Martha's so called "best friend" find the need to sling more mud at the poor woman???? Doesn't she think that serving time in jail and wearing that seriously hideous pashmina on her way home was punishment enough? (Yes I know she brought that upon herself so stop looking at my blog that way). It has to be the "best friend's" need to gain monetary value and a name for herself that has fueled this tell-all book. Doesn't Mariana Pasternak know that I am trying to make money and become famous by talking about Martha? How dare she take over?

Watch out Mariana for dissing my girl and watch out Martha, you have some serious competition.